If I understand correctly,
Please correct me if not right.
Your antidumping system will punish offenders by removing 10 % upon sending.
It seems to me the graduated scale & wanting to exclude some wallets is causing some of the problems.
Here is an idea ,
Just Charge your 10% fee as a standard transaction fee on all blocks sent with say over 10 Fly ( Just threw 10 in for consideration , as you may prefer another number).
Any amount below 10 Fly (or whatever number you chose) is only charged 1% (or whatever you decide on) standard transaction fee.
All Transactions fees are redirected to your Superfly wallet.
Do not try and exclude the Superfly wallet address from the transaction fee, just when you distribute fly , send an additional 10% , as it will redirect back into the superfly wallet anyway.
As far as the exchange goes, they can just post the warning of how much fly will be deducted upon sending either 1% or 10% of withdrawal.
Since it is a transaction fee , it should not drain away anything from the stakers unless they send it out.
Tip : If you want to merge blocks with fly and have like 1000 flys in 50 blocks, don't sent the 1000 all into 1 block by sending the 1000,
select the 50 blocks and send out like .000001 , this will merge the blocks but not charge you the antidumping transaction fee.
Any way , just an idea , Hope it Helps.

FYI:
Or to make it even simpler only charge 10% fee as a standard transaction fee for everything and no other rates.
Oh and the People in your Elite list, you can just resend them the 10 % fee from their sends from the superfly wallet.
You may want to make that like a Weekly or Monthly refund so it does not overload your time.