Not enough

Tell them the same thing you would say if they asked how much cash you have in the bank, "none of your fucking business!"

+1

I told my parents about bitoins but I don't think they understood it much so when they ask me, I show them my 1 BTC Casa coin saying I only have 1 for the lulz.

Don't bother giving people exact amounts, its never going to help you.  Just tell them something like "a few", or say you have $500/$1000 invested depending on what would be a normal amount for one to invest.

Agreed.

I tell them I don't need to worry about money until after residency. And if bitcoin really takes off, maybe several dozen more years after that.

It is linked to the culture and the general financial situation of a population where you grew up. I have a couple of Haitian friends down in Florida. They are sending money to families members back to the island. Kidnapping for ransom is sadly a regular hazard over there. Broadcasting your wealth or the perception you may have more than the "average" (in some part of Haiti, not the whole island) would be like putting a bulls-eye on your back.

I tell the truth. I had tens of thousands of coins at one point. Gave many away, lost some, bought a bunch of worthless crap, and got scammed out of the rest.