anybody know a way to load a huge wordlist into vanitygen and still use the -i function? currently the max i can do while using -i is around 4000 but i want to be able to do a lot more than that

The case-insensitive option unrolls the word into every possibility, so a word like
1siik
would become
1siik
1Siik
1siiK
1SiiK
A normal four-letter (without special characters like "i" which don't have an uppercase in Base58) would become sixteen possibilities; a six-letter would become 64 possibilities. If you have 512 eight-character words, it is actually a list of 128k words after all permutations, which becomes 1 megabyte.
The final list is also pre-processed to remove redundant matches (like your list has 1siik and 1siikfo) and invalid/too long strings. CPU vanitygen uses 2GB on my system while just processing a huge list of 8-14 character words, and dies about line 82K before it even starts generating, probably from running out of 32-bit process memory.
Even if you were to compile in 64 bit, you will likely hit GPU RAM limits, if that's not already your limiting factor.