(Sorry about all the names mentioned. But I have to be concrete.)
To
NxtChg:
I obviously cant stay in a community where four words and a stupid smiley makes somebody wish you death
Guess you meant this:
No he got it right I change my mind on you where previously I said you should not go away now I think you should go play in traffic seriously please sell all your next and just get the f*** out of here
His intent wasn't to wish you death. It was just to rage at you, and he chose mean words in the heat of things. Not saying that's acceptable, but saying you might be making too much of it.
And I am tired of being one guy on the other side of everybody else. A cohesive community is much more important than stupid arguments.
I think a cohesive community is great. But a community that doesn't disagree is simply homogeneous, and imo consequently brittle. A truly robust, cohesive community should be able to handle disagreements and work past them.
As xyzzyx mentioned in the other thread, you can disagree without being disagreeable. I'd add that instead of just debate (in particular angry debate), also try for discussion and dialetic instead. Explain where you're coming from, don't assume that the other party has the same knowledge, prior experience, insight and perspective as you. This paragraph applies to everyone, not just one person.
For instance, you and jl777 keep butting heads hard. James tends to take an idea and see how far he can go with it, that's his strength. And also I think with too narrow focus on certain objectives (1 instruction!) to the exclusion of other considerations, that's his weakness, and where he'd like us to come in and help fill the gaps. I've always found James
open to reasoning.
NxtChg, I think if you had presented
this to James earlier (and without a loaded tone), your discussion could have gone differently.
In discussions, I've found that it helps to quote just those points that you're addressing. This lets you and the other party be clear about what exactly each of you are referring to, instead of trying to respond to an entire long post all at once and possibly (likely imo) building on more and more different assumptions on both sides. (This will also cut down on quote pyramid clutter. But I'm tired of pressing this issue.)
This post applies to all of us, not just the folks I've mentioned in it.
NxtChg, we want you here. Please stay.
