LOLs - I actually submitted the form ... NOT!
OH hell dude, it's easy. Here's my crimes:
* Exposing myself to a blind person.
* Fucking redheads
* Failure to inform insurance agent I was fucking redheads...
* Bigamy
* Onanism
* Fetish for podiatrists
* Driving Drunk
* Driving Stoned
* Driving past a lit Krispy Kreme Sign....