Oh, that's interesting. Does the curse turn elves into logs? What the amusing  world you live

Attention! If you have seen Doken One-Eye, report to the post of the Black Legion immediately. He is suspected of stealing 18 cakes and spoiling a drove of red-browed pigs "following his own perceptions of beauty.”

Oh, I'm afraid the pigs had to go through a difficult time. I hope his perceptions of beauty relate to eyebrow styling.

Do you want to know how to get your piece of Eridan lands? Oh, it's simple, my friend. Save up enough money and buy a state license at an auction. Done. Beware of fakes, my friend. There are a lot of scoundrels in our time!

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Hot news! In the Fisheye Tavern, in the Wild Swamps, three dwarfs had too much dirtybelly Morelbeer and arranged an ugly feast. It turned out that the innkeeper was diluting it with swamp water, for which he paid his back door. Literally.

The Black Legion is ready to accept volunteers into its ranks. You must be brave, know which side to hold the axe on and prove to not get drunk from the tenth mug of morelbeer. Instructions on how to become an exile are attached.


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Attention all potential landowners! Do you want to know how to get your piece of Eridan lands? Oh, it’s simple, my friends. Save up enough money and buy a state license at an auction. Done. Beware of fakes, my friends. There are a lot of scoundrels in our time!

Every second Thursday of the seventh month of the leap year, a Grand elves festival takes place in the middle of Goldenwood. Fireworks includes. The doors are open to everyone, of any race and size! (However, goblins are advised to start doing something about the stink already)


Congratulations to Savur, the winner of the monthly cake-eating tournament. Savur was able to eat a quarter more cake than Trar Bottomless. This broke old record of 17 and a half cakes.


Stay in touch, worthy dwarfs, to stay up to date!

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A reminder from the Hunters guild: Not every strong warrior can defeat an ogre, but a smart one can. The flar — reliable heavy crossbow will do its job, and nail the whopper like a moth.

Battle brothers Durn and Zarn returned from the Northern Wilds. Once they were one of the few dwarf mariners and tried to explore the lands beyond the Ice Mantle. After only they returned from the last campaign, Durn and Zarn fraternized by mixing blood and entered the service of Prince Vorwund’s personal guard.


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Haven’t you tried Morelbeer? Oh, that’s amazing! Lovingly (and a little gloatingly) brewed by goblins from blooming marsh mushrooms, pickled fish giblets and berries of spicy herbs. As soon as you get to Eridan, drink a cup or two for my health. And do you know where the best drinks are served? The Golden Shield tavern in Goldenfall waiting for the brave adventurers!

The new Joop is on the market! A light alcoholic drink made from sweet grains! With it, your hummies will start working twice as hard, and your own evenings will pass twice as fast! Order by mail or wait for the nearest caravan! (Not a combat tool, any fires are accidental).


Fjor Pain Master. Deep-deep, below the royal halls, below the treasuries and secret arsenals are Chambers of Pain. There mad with grief dwarves torture each other day and night in every way unimaginable in order to one day be free of pain. Few people succeed. Fjor succeeded.


Stay in touch, worthy dwarfs, to stay up to date!

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Attention! Yesterday, another poor fellow took a goblin trap in a gloomy forest for a mushroom circle, for which he paid dwarven dignity. Shaved and ridiculed, he was bought back for a pint of “elven tears”.

Forestcash guard announces the recruiting of one more Fend. Five dwarves of relative prowess with the following skills are invited: two shield-bearers with axes, a spearman and two crossbowmen. Free lunches at the local tavern are included, no matter what the innkeeper says.


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Is elvish magic only for elves? No! Now it’s available to you, my friend, whoever you are. Dorothea Rimbling’s unique course i’ll teach you how to weave spells no worse than the most skilled elves. Order my book with the nearest caravan. *The publisher is not responsible for the effectiveness.

Do you want to replenish your units with new hummies? Raz the Sniffer for your service. A renowned hummies hunter. He can hunt the creepy creatures even in the depths of the most impenetrable forests. He often sparred in the backyard of his mansion. He fights alone against 10–12 hummies. The survivors of these fights are good enough to do nothing but work in the kitchen.


Roll Torturer. One of Eridan most notorious Torturers — members of an ancient and vicious sect whose members swore to destroy all elves and everything connected with them. Rumor has it that the sectarians were allied with the goblins. Nonsense, of course.


Stay in touch, worthy dwarfs, to stay up to date!

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Dwarves neither forget nor forgive. This was once again confirmed by Dugah Strongler, who didn’t forgive the loss in craps after the tenth mug of morelbeer and didn’t forget to explain that the beardless winner’s mother was promiscuous in intimate relationships. The tavern will be restored soon.

Many warriors have been trained by Lam Teacher. And these he had earned his right to rest and a good piece of pie every night. But when word of the Chasm reached him, his calloused hands reached for the axe hanging on the wall. And here he is.


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If you haven’t updated your flar yet, what are you waiting for? A new model of the crossbow will soon be available at the nearest fair at the foot of the Diamond Stronghold. The best steel from dwarven smelters, super-strong bolts and now twice-as-long chains!

Where are the best chainmails? Ern Oblique’s! Where are the best axes? Ern Oblique’s! Where a warrior can buy two for the price of one? Ern Oblique’s! *Protective spells are imposed for an additional price. **The promotion is valid only for the restricted assortment.


Vold the Punisher. The commander of the Royal Punishment Squad Vold is known for his cruelty and amorousness. Many dwarf hearts have been broken by him, and many dwarfs still dare not look up when he passes by.


Stay in touch, worthy dwarfs, to stay up to date!

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A reminder from the Hunters guild: although Hummies are weak, they are numerous. And when they gather in a pack and choose their own leader, they become dangerous. But a good squad of 55 dwarfs is enough power to break their resistance.

Sazid The Rude is looking for companions. Sazid doesn’t think, Sazid acts. He seems too aggressive to many, but inside he is very calculating and far-sighted. Join or go to hell, beardless girl.


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Dwarves love real-man’s things! My father always preferred the good old heavy crossbow for duck hunting. It was impossible to eat them afterwards, but what a fireworks display! The brand new Flar is waiting for you, warrior!

Do you want to know how to get your piece of Eridan lands? Oh, it’s simple, my friend. Save up enough money and buy a state license at an auction. Done. Beware of fakes, my friend. There are a lot of scoundrels in our time!


Ferd The Golden belly. Everyone knows Ferd as the owner of four famous taverns in Nundun. The Black Long Dig, the Golden Drink, the Slut’s boar and the Ogre’s Eatery are known throughout Eridan for their excellent food and high prices.


Stay in touch, worthy dwarfs, to stay up to date!