I picked up a pen, wrote 2 BTC on a piece of paper, and said that I had just created exactly the same record.
Not exactly the same. Your piece of paper won't contain a lot of leading zeroes, when you calculate SHA-256 of that.
In the same way, you could buy a monopoly game, take some pieces of paper out of it, and then argue, that it is the same, as having physical dollars. If printing money would be so easy, then 99% of cash in circulation would be fake, and it would instantly lose any value.
There are no two digital items, such as documents, photographs, or software programs
There is a software, which can tell you, how exactly coins are created, and validated. If you think, that it is as easy, as writing "2 BTC" on a piece of paper, then go on, produce some coins, and sell them for real dollars, or anything else you consider to be valuable.
Consequently, there is nothing to analyze to determine whether it is valuable or whether it is an asset, just as there was nothing when I wrote 2 BTC on a piece of paper.
You can analyze the math behind it. If it would be worthless, then anyone could move anyone else's coins anywhere.
If you write "2 BTC" on a piece of paper, then you don't use any
elliptic curve,
hash function, or anything similar, to prove ownership in any way. But here, there are real math problems, which can keep the whole system running. If you think it is worthless, then you can easily take a lot of profits, by proving, that the system is unsafe, assigning a lot of coins to yourself, and instantly selling all of that.