Or even just give away what you can afford to people in the form of paper keys, smartphone apps, or whatever is easy for you. Show them how easy bitcoin is to use. Show them how secure bitcoin is.

If they tried, the price would shoot up too fast.

It needs people to genuinely care about it and use it as a currency, and not as a get rich quick scheme.  Right now everyone here just wants a massive influx of users so their own wealth skyrockets long enough for them to cash back out into worthless fiat dollars.  See Atlas' lamentations about how low the price is and how we should be doing everything possible to "spread the word".

The reality is that if you get a massive amount of people to buy bitcoins, you'll just have a lot more registered users here all asking the same questions you are: what do we do with our bitcoins?  They're cumbersome to manage, expensive to transact with, and they're a beacon for scammers of all shapes and sizes.  This is to say nothing of the USD/BTC volatility which makes serious vendors laugh at the idea of accepting them.

At the price it is, we can afford to give away bitcents to LOTS of people. We tell them what it is and it's potential. Bitcoin will become collectable. The more collectable it becomes, the more valuable it becomes. As it grows in value, people will begin to trade bitcoin for goods or other currencies. Vendors will adapt to accepting bitcoin. Rinse. Repeat. QED

^10

Hmm, this would be an interesting idea - set up some fund, get some people from the community involved in donating some coins, and then sending some coins in form of QR-codes to some charities, computer-related internet celebrities, or other things that would get the community some good publicity and exposure.

Education information resources. Currently someone who learns about Bitcoin can't get clean, concise, accurate information. The wiki might be the proper venue for this but currently leaves a lot to be desired.

Get an official letterhead from a large, well known company (Amazon? Apple? Facebook? eBay?), write up an "internal memo" referring to how they are supposedly setting up their retail servers to work with Bitcoin and plan to accept Bitcoin soon, and secretly "leak" it to a bunch of newspapers, as if it's coming from someone deep within the company, but the information is supposed to be kept secret and will likely be denied.
Then sit back and watch the firestorm as papers and magazines publish about the leak and the company scrambles to deny it, despite the "leak" implying they would, anyway. With a large enough company this may generate quite a lot of publicity, and, if they are forced to look into what the heck it is, may even convince them to accept Bitcoin after all.
This would have to be done by an expert troll tough, way beyond my capabilities.

Hmm, almost all of the bounty links seem not to be working...