how long does it usually take? still haven't got the dmd I'm missing from unconfirmed transactions. 4 unconfirmed transactions in the last 2 days.. seems pointless me even doing it as i never get the coins I'm minting
If you talk about such unconfirmed POS minted blocks, then in version 2.0 this is quite a frequent phenomenon.

But this is not a mistake or omission.
What you did not get this time, comes back to you in the form of the next reward.
I am glad that in the new version of DMD 3.0, this phenomenon is much more rare.
And for owners of Masternode, such orphan mintied blocks do not exist at all
orphans is the downside of the very fast blocktime of 50 sec at DMDv2
at DMDv3 we have a much more moderate blocktime of 135 sec
because for speed transaction we have the masternode powered service quickTX
so we dont need a spam of many short blocks we can be fast by use state of the art technologies instead
a important part if u have more or less orphans is if ur wallet is well connected to many peers
the better connected u are the higher the chance is when 2 blocks found simultaneous
that the network consensus is yours is the winner
and last but not least a help -> debug window - console
and type there the comand
repairwallet to check if everything is ok can help too for some issues