I think my history about gambling is im always lose than win.. Even im not always win , im always play gambling because its fun if you win some bitcoins in gambling and very addicted..
This is really funny. You enjoy your loss. To tell the truth (according to you post) you mostly loss and sometime win. You have fun when you win even when, most of times you lose. Good way to enjoy things. For more, you enjoy even because you are addicted by gambling.
You need urgently to do two things (to enjoy more after). To find a good doctor to take away this your addiction and to find someone which can be able to not leave money in your hands for at least 2 years. In order that don't gain again the same addiction. During this time, this person must show you that in the world exist to many other things which can be enjoyed much more than the gambling.
For example have you tried to stay and make love with a beautiful or even normal girl?