i'm an avid proponent of apple products but I couldn't be less impartial to what price Apple is trading at. In fact, I invite the volatility

Why? I have an iPhone that a client bought for me to do an App. The next one will run Android.
I mean I used Windows since the age of 4 and know it inside out, but it was breathtaking moving to a UI that was intuitive, on hardware that felt right to use and worked (battery life, build quality, etc). And at least within the Apple ecosystem, my iphone works so well together with an apple tv and Mac. Now I'm sure you can do most things on a Windows/Android system as you could on an iPhone, but the Apple culture just really emphasizes usability and I just don't want to set every little thing up or troubleshoot every bug I run into. I don't want to think about any of that. I just want to do whatever I need to do and get on with my life, it's way too short to constantly configure things. That's mainly why I don't use linux too, but I could if I didn't see Apple as a more usable product to me.
In my experience my phone has plenty of bugs, primarily in Apple software (much has been fixed by updates, but that's a problem too because they don't make special updates for earlier models, they just dump the new code on you that is tuned for the newer devices, resulting in severe lag issues on the older hardware). With my Android tablet I have much less trouble and my vendor (Asus) provides custom images for each device they sell, ensuring good performance with the latest bug fixes.
Apple's okay if you want to shell out another $500 every year to keep your hardware up to date, but I've got better things to spend my money on (like bitcoin

).