China increased tariffs on U.S. goods from 84% to 125%.
Bond market showing cracks with higher rates, someone is selling lot's of treasuries. FED is forced to lower rates and start QE to save bonds.
Bitcoin starts pumping.
Look at this graph, folks! Its huge! Tremendous numbers really! Uncertainty going off the charts! Theyre saying uncertainty has exploded under my presidency and you know what? It really has!
Now, I'm going to make a bold move. We need to revisit the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle - instead of using that boring old Plancks constant, we're going to include what I like to call the Musky Trumpeter Constant which isn't really a constant at all - it's more of a constant variable. Im signing an executive order renaming it from Heisenberg to the American Uncertainly Principle - very classy, folks. After all, most of the uncertainty occurs here in the great US of A! We're going to make uncertainty great again.
Picture this: youve got a particle - you know, a tiny little thing, so tiny - you can either know where it is or how fast its going but with the Musky Trumpeter Constant, you'll have uncertainty levels no one has ever seen! People dont know where the economys going, they dont know what Im going to say next, but they know its going to be big - SO BIG! Instead of being worried, we're gonna embrace this uncertainty! Lets make it really great! Well redefine the equation to include massive uncertainty with certainty, and scientists will be scratching their heads saying, Wow, Trump really turned quantum physics on its head! and it's a big head - the biggest really because you know those quantum physicists are very smart people. Some of the smartest in the world.
